Oct. 16^th, Things aren’t going great right now. My dad is still struggling to come up with an idea for his writing, and my mom is struggling to find work. As for me, I feel ... fine, I guess. Things aren’t amazing, but I’d hardly say life’s going poorly. My grades are fine, if only that damn chemistry nonsense wasn’t so hard, I wouldn’t have that D plaguing my GPA. I have a couple of friends at school, but they’re just as lost as I am, bar one, but they’re not very good at teaching. I don’t know, I just feel like I’ve been in a grey state of mind for the past while. I feel like I’m just going through the motions, waiting for something to come and end this slowed-down time-lapse of my life. I know the counselor said that keeping a diary would help me see what’s wrong, but nothing seems different yet. I don’t know, I guess I’ll just have to wait and see. Nov. 5^th, Well, that something interesting I’ve been waiting for has finally shown up. My dad came home today with this little plastic duck he got from a friend of his who worked in software development. He said that whenever he felt stuck and didn’t know why his code wasn’t working or how to solve a complicated problem, he would talk to this duck about it and shortly after, he would be coding like there was no tomorrow and the answer would suddenly become clear to him. I feel like I’ve heard of this before, but never really thought about it too much. I guess if it helps my dad come up with some ideas for his writing, then there’s no harm to it. Nov. 12^th, Well, it looks like the duck worked. My dad just finished about three chapters of his next book and was on a call with his editor raving about it for at least an hour or two. I’m guessing they liked it because after that call he went straight back to continuing it. Normally he would have crumpled up at least a dozen drafts by now, but his trash can is empty. At dinner, he was practically smiling the entire time. He even brought the duck with him to tell us all about how it helped him. He said he would ask his friend if he could get enough ducks for all of us to have one, so I guess I’ll be getting that soon and report back on it. Nov. 13^th, Well, that didn’t take long. He came home today with a little duck for both me and my mom to use to bounce ideas off of. My mom had that look on her face that looked like a delighted smile, but I could tell underneath it that she was not convinced of this thing’s effect. I’ve put mine on my desk under my computer monitors, right between the Zelda and Yoshi Amiibos. I’m also not convinced that this’ll be any help, but I’ve got a chem exam tomorrow so I might as well give it a try. I’ll write again when it’s graded. Nov. 13^th (again), It moved. It FUCKING MOVED! I know I’m not supposed to swear in this thing, but can you blame me? He never mentioned it was a robot! I thought it was just this little plastic duck to talk to, but when I spoke to it, the whole thing turned to face me. It didn’t respond or anything, it just ... turned. I’ll still try to talk to this for my dad’s sake, but the minute this thing speaks, it’s going right out the window. Nov. 25^th, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the duck did work. I don’t know how, but I just got the exam back (yes it took that long for the professor to grade them, honestly faster than I thought it would take) and I got a 94! That never happens! I got a 43 on the last exam so I was sure this one was gonna be similar, but when I sat down and looked at the questions, I just locked in. It was like my brain was explaining everything to me as I went along and helped me through the questions. Is this how people’s brains normally act when they take a test? I explained this to my parents at dinner and they seemed really proud. My dad was saying “It’s all thanks to the duck” and, yeah, I guess it worked, but I still put in effort. After all, the duck didn’t take the exam, I did, but whatever, best to not argue about it. I wasn’t the only one who had some good news to share, though. My mom finally got an offer from the local bookstore she frequents. She said she had talked to her duck about where she could work, and it was like the bookstore’s name just jumped into her head and she went to apply. Shortly after, they emailed her back offering an interview and then she got it the next day! My dad just smiled and said, “Thank *DUCK* for that.” Maybe the ducks were a mistake after all. Dec. 13^th, I’ve now had the duck for 2 months, and let me tell you, this thing has been a godsend. My grades have been on a steady incline since that Chem test, and I’ve even managed to teach it some tricks. I still don’t know how it works, but whenever I say spin, the duck does a little spin in place and it’s adorable. Dec. 25^th, It’s Christmas time, and the ducks are joining us for the festivities! My mom crocheted some little santa hats for them, saying “the ducks are part of our family now, they deserve some presents too.” I hadn’t really thought about the ducks that way. It feels strange to call these little toys a “part of the family,” but I guess they’ve just made that big of an impact on us. When it came time for dinner, my dad went digging through our basement and found an old dollhouse table and put it in the center of our table. We placed our ducks around the table and put some tiny plastic food on it. My dad tried to fight it a little, saying that the ducks “deserve the same food we’re eating,” but my mom didn’t want to make a mess or risk forgetting to clean it up afterwards. It was kind of strange, not just my dad’s weirdly passionate attitude to giving these plastic ducks real food, but also that they didn’t turn towards us like they normally did. Maybe it was the fact that there were so many of us that none of them could really recognize it, or maybe they just wanted to enjoy their meal. God, I’m starting to sound like him now. Jan. 1^st, Happy New Year! We had our New Year’s party in our living room and invited our friends and family over for it. We gave the ducks little party hats and put them up on the mantle so they could still be a part of the party. Everyone seemed to really like the ducks, saying that it was cute that we gave them the little hats. I had been chatting with one of my close friends about mine ever since the grade on that test, and they wanted me to show them how it worked, so I took my duck down and we went into my room to show them. I placed the duck on my desk facing between us and said its name, “Gertrud!” It turned to face me, and my friend jumped back a bit. “I thought you were joking about it being able to move.” “Yeah, it’s pretty cool, right?” “Yeah, can I try?” “Sure, just say her name.” My friend looked at her and said her name, but she didn’t move. “Is it broken?” “It shouldn’t be.” I turned Gertrud away from me and said her name and she turned towards me. “I guess it only reacts to my voice.” “Huh, well, that’s still pretty neat. What else can it do?” “Nothing.” “Wait, what? This amazing study tool that you’ve been raving about doesn’t do anything other than turn to you when you say its name?” I smirked a little, “No watch this. Gertrud, spin,” and then she did a little spin in place. My friend was … unimpressed. “I think you need help.” “I think you need a duck. I’ll talk to my dad and see if I can get you one.” “I don’t know, I’m not sure I would really use it. How is it supposed to help me if all it does is spin?” “Oh, it’s easy. You just explain your problem to them and then the answer just becomes clear to you.” “Hmm, sounds like pseudo-science if you ask me.” “Trust me, you’ll understand once you’ve got one.” (Is it weird to write a conversation in a diary? Eh, who cares, it’s my diary, I can do what I want in it!) Jan. 14^th, I’ve discovered a new thing Gertrud can do, she can move! I know she can spin, but after spinning a couple of times, I noticed that she had moved forward slightly. I decided I would train Gertrud to waddle, and started the training process. The way I taught her to spin was to simply say “spin,” and then turn her in a circle, so I started saying “waddle,” and then shuffle her forward a little. It’s a slow process, but I find it gratifying when she’s finally able to do the trick I teach her. Jan. 21^st, She’s getting the hang of it, now. Gertrud just finished shuffling across my desk. She’s slow, but with practice, I’m sure she’ll get faster. I’ve also just realized that I never mentioned that I named her. I had been thinking about what to name her since Christmas, since the rest of my family had given theirs names. My dad named his Heisenduck as he’s been obsessed with Breaking Bad and he even gave it the hat and sunglasses to complete the look, my mom named hers Daff after daffodils, which are her favorite flowers, but I couldn’t really think of anything that I felt fit mine. I didn’t want to make it a duck pun nor have “duck” in the name as that feels a little strange to me. You wouldn’t think that way when naming a human. Sure, there are names like Manfred, but I doubt that came from someone who wanted to name their kid Fred but thought it wouldn’t be clear that he was a person, so they slapped “Man” onto the front of it to make it clear. I also don’t really have a favorite flower, so that doesn’t work either. The name Gertrud came to me while I was watching an old modded-Minecraft let’s play where they had been given a duck that was named Gertrud, and I thought, “That’s a good name for a duck, I’ll use that,” and thus, my duck shall be named Gertrud. Feb. 4^th, Gertrud has gotten pretty good at waddling across the desk now. I can even tap my finger somewhere and she’ll go there. It’s honestly incredible how intelligent this duck is. Part of me wants to take it apart and see how it works, but at the same time I’ve grown quite fond of it, and it feels wrong to rip it apart now, like it would hurt her. Even if I had the strength to do it, I didn’t even see any seams or screws to start at, so maybe it was designed not to be opened. Either way, I don’t think I could bring myself to harm her; not after all she has done for me. It’s hard to imagine how my life would’ve turned out if I had never met this beautiful creature. Feb. 12^th, My friend just got her own duck from my dad’s friend. Apparently they work for whatever company made them and he’s been giving them to a few people so they could get some feedback before making it public. I guess that’s why I haven’t seen or heard anyone else talk about these little guys. I honestly thought that my dad’s friend just knew the store they were sold in and was acting as a middleman for my dad, but him working for its company makes a lot more sense. Anyhoo, my friend was telling me how she hasn’t noticed anything different yet and was asking how long it would take before activating. I explained that it’s more of a psychological thing and that you have to get used to using it before you notice any real changes. I told her how I taught mine to spin and said she should give it a name so that she’ll feel more connected to it. Feb. 20^th, Friend update: they’ve named their duck Apollo after their favorite Greek god. They were telling me that it took them a few days before they actually tried to use it for schoolwork as they still only saw it as a toy. Apparently, they’ve already got it to spin, which is pretty impressive considering that it took me at least 3 weeks to get mine to do any tricks. When I asked them how effective they were finding it with studying, they got really energetic talking about how their grades are already on an up-curve and how their physics work was suddenly making more sense and that they were starting to use the school’s study resources less as they found talking with Apollo to me more effective. I’m happy they’re just as happy with their duck as I am with mine. Hopefully these can get into the general market soon so everyone can benefit from this. April 3^rd, So, I may have accidentally knocked my diary off my desk at some point and lost it for a bit. I was about to pull up Amazon to get a new one when I noticed that Gertrud had moved all the way to the back corner of my desk. I hadn’t even told her to, she just did it. Putting aside the amazement that it could move without commands, I was wondering what drew her over there, so I moved my desk back a bit and, lo and behold, there was my diary wedged between my desk and the wall. How did she know it was there? Can she even see? I thought she was just using sound to know where I am, but if she’s been able to see this whole time, I don’t know, that just feels a little… unsettling? Is that wrong? I’ve grown to love and trust Gertrud, so it feels wrong to feel unsettled by her. I thought I had gotten over this feeling, but I guess it’s always been in the back of my mind waiting for something to bring it back out. April 7^th, I swear I just heard something. I can’t really describe it as anything other than a noise that I’ve never heard in my room. It sounded like some sort of squeak or something like that. I don’t know, maybe I’m just being paranoid. I should probably get some traps or something just in case. April 10^th, Ok, now I know I’m not crazy. I heard it again, but this time it was while I was talking through some calc work with Gertrud. When I paused to try and figure out how to word my thoughts, I heard the noise again, but this time, it sounded less like a squeak and more like a… quack? I don’t know where this would’ve come from, Gertrud can’t speak, at least not that I’m aware of, and I didn’t have my headphones on so it couldn’t have come from my computer. I told Gertrud to speak, but she remained silent, so it definitely couldn’t have been her. Maybe I’ve got an old toy that I’ve forgotten about somewhere and it’s getting activated by something. If I hear it again, I’ll do a proper search. April 17^th, Oh my god, Gertrud SPOKE! I was on a call with my friend talking about the noise and jokingly said “Gertrud, speak,” and then she spoke! It wasn’t even a quack, it was “Hi.” I froze, looking right at Gertrud, and asked, “did- did you just say hi?” “Hi.” I nearly fell out of my chair. Her beak didn’t even move, it just came from her. Has she been able to speak this whole time? It always felt like she talked back to me, but it was always in my head, like an inner monologue that I had just associated with her. Could it have been her this whole time? I don’t like this. For the first time since I got her, I feel… scared. How can she talk? Has she been hiding this ability? What else could she be hiding? Am I just going insane? Has my mind finally cracked? I was pacing around my room, my heart racing and my mind asking a million questions all at once. “Don’t be afraid, just breathe.” I froze again, turning slowly to my desk only to see Gertrud at the edge of it looking me dead in the eye. “What… are you?” “Oh Robin, we have much to discuss.”